Imminent Robot Threat Update

This robot, once again brought to us by Japanese scientists, can belly-dance. In fact, that's its primary function.

Trying to throw me off, eh Japanese roboticians? What's under that little yellow dress, I wonder. An eight-barrel rotating cannon? Balloons full of poison? A grenade with roofing nails taped to it?

Clever, Japan. But not clever enough.

Though, as Dave Barry would say, 'Imminent Robot Threat' would make a great name for a band.

"Dude, are you going to the IRT show on Friday?"

"Aw man, I can't, I'm going to see Corpse Shovel that night! They're opening for The Skull-Crushing Tank Treads!"

"Too bad. I heard IRT started using a belly-dancing robot as part of their encore!"

"Damn, that's gonna be kickass!"

Fools.

'Exorcism Suspected After Girl Found Dead'

Awright! That's my kinda headline!

Talk about timely, I just picked up "The Version You've Never Seen" on DVD the other day. ("Now With 70% More Subliminal Demon Faces!*") And please, don't tell me how tasteless it is to try and milk laffs out of a story about two wackos murdering a 6-year old girl. I know how fucking tastless it is. What's funny is that the police spokesman used the word "undemonizing," and probably meant it, too.

(*Seriously, what's the deal? Did they add like twelve more frames of that demon face to the new version or what? Subliminal my ass, that shit was most definitely in-your-face liminal after the 7th or 8th time you see that fucking creepy head floating there.)