liberty punk
"the irony of the information age is that it's given new respectability to uninformed opinion."

Thursday, June 17, 2004  

Spider-Man 2 Prediction...

Mary-Jane's got a new love interest in Spider-Man 2, and it's Daily Bugle head honcho J. Jonah Jameson's son, John.

For the film, John Jameson could have been given any type of occupation. The writers could have made him anything at all, because other than being there to make Peter Parker jealous and hate the fact that he can't let himself love MJ, he's not an "essential" character, right? He could be anything from a grad student to a graphic designer to a stand-up comic and it wouldn't affect the story a bit. He's like a walking, talking MacGuffin.

So what does John Jameson do in the movie? He's an astronaut.

Why would they (the ubiquitous "they!") make him an astronaut, as opposed to anything else? Because having a 'minor' character return from an outer-space mission with a mysterious black goo stuck to his ship is a clean, simple way to introduce Venom for part 3.

That's why.

[NERD]Given the utter impossibility of introducing any of the "Secret Wars" storyline into a major Hollywood sequel, how else could they bring such a cool, begging-to-be-CGI'ed, fan-favorite character into the series? I mean, come on.[/NERD]

There should be some kind of filmmaking rule... something along the lines of:

"Don't make anyone an astronaut unless the fact that they're an astronaut has some kind of impact on the story."

I think it's pretty safe to say that in any group of people, the astronaut is gonna be the most interesting. People don't really care how the grad student's day went, but they sure as hell wanna hear what happened to the astronaut. Point being, why would talented filmmakers deliberately take even a fraction of the viewer's attention away from what's important by mentioning some guy's an astronaut... unless his astronautery is going to be important later?

I mean, can you think of any movies where a guy is an astronaut for no reason? All I've come up with is "The Exorcist," where they're having the dinner party and Reagan comes downstairs and tells the astronaut, "You're gonna die up there." Even that's got something of a point-- it's creepy as hell to see a little girl tell someone how they're going to die, AND it serves to show that Chris MacNeil is of such impressive social status that astronauts come to her dinner parties.

Yeah. So anyway. Venom in Part 3, says me. The astronaut told me so.

posted by geoff | 1:35 PM |
hehe, etc.
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