liberty punk
"the irony of the information age is that it's given new respectability to uninformed opinion."

Tuesday, January 13, 2004  

This Just In: We're All Royally Fucked

Look, I'm not gonna bore you with pointless details. The short version is simply that Japanese robots are going to kill us all. I submit the following for your analysis...

First, Japan gave us this lil' guy:

Honda's Asimo. He could walk, and we were all very impressed.

Next came this fun-lovin' robo-dude:

Sony's Qrio. He could dance! And play with a little ball! And recognize your fucking face, and talk to you about things you told him in the past! We knew Asimo's days were numbered.

Now, along comes this thing:

What the holy hell? We're all goddamn dead. Thanks, Japan. And don't think I didn't notice the corpse-shovel on the front of the bastard. I like how you snuck that in. Last month, it was "He can play with a ball!" and this month it's "He's got massive, skull-crushing tank treads!" Great, thanks. I'm looking forward to the day when this rolling abomination comes thundering down my street, flinging cars left and right with its massive hydraulic arms, bellowing something in Japanese about how it's concluded that humans are weak and inefficient and must be eliminated in the interests of greater productivity. I won't hear it though, because a) I can't understand Japanese, and b) I'll be busy running for my goddamn life.

In conclusion, I'd just like to say a great, big "Thanks!" in advance to Japan and their robot-happy scientists for fucking murdering every one of us soft, fleshy, blood-filled humans.

posted by geoff | 12:09 PM |
hehe, etc.
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