Memo to Ani Difranco

Alright. So Ani, you're all like, "take away our Playstations and we're a third world nation."

And I'm like, "well, if you took away our Playstations, we'd just play our X-Boxes and Gamecubes and Gameboy Advances with New and Improved Backlit Screens." And... I'm sorry, but even if you took all of those away, we might just go back to playing our Super Nintendos, our Genesises, and our Atari Lynxes. But okay, even if you took all of those away, we'd go into our basements and attics and dig out our Atari 2600s and play "Combat" or "Berserk." And you know what? If you took away all of those as well, I'd be willing to bet that somebody would just come along and invent something newer and better. Because they could. And because people would want it.

Third world nations wouldn't do that, Ani. They wouldn't do that because they can't. Do you see what I'm getting at? I'd hate to think that I have to spell it out for you, and of course I'm not saying this on a stage with a guitar in my hands and a band behind me, so sure, it loses some of its impact (I'm sure you can dig what I'm saying), but having Playstations is not the only thing that separates us from a third-world nation. It's not the only thing, by far.

I'm sorry that I had to be the one to point this out to you.

In other news, I liked NOFX a lot better when they wrote songs about lesbians and vaginas and what you can't say on the radio and Jewish punk gangs and why you shouldn't drink and drive (because you might spill your drink!). Before they became an official mouthpiece for the Hatin' Bush Bandwagon, I'm saying. I mean, I know that the only way to be "cool" with the "kids" these days is to either A) Be Eminem, or B) Write songs about how you hate George W. Bush, but... I don't know. All I'm saying is that I liked NOFX a lot more before they did what they've been doing the past couple years. When what they were doing wasn't necessarily the hippest, most darn-tootin' counter-culturest thing anyone could possibly do.

Like, before they were trying to be Anti-Flag. "Ugh ugh, cops are pigs, Bush is a moron, let's go knock down a Starbucks." C'mon, guys. It's not like the Alkaline Trio have the "songs about girls" market cornered or anything. Give me some songs about girls. I don't give a shit about cops or any of that other bullshit. Okay?

That's all for now.