Rock Band: "We Don't Like The President"
Famed rock band Pearl Jam, who are often mistakenly noted as leaders of the "grunge movement" of the early nineties, have released a new single, entitled "Bushleaguer," in which singer Eddie Vedder gives his listeners his opinion of the President. Remarkably, this is the first time a rock star, celebrity, or other rich person has publicly stated their disliking of George W. Bush. First time.
Ever:

Swinging for the fence, got lucky with his strike
Drilling for fear, makes the job simple
Born on third, thinks he got a triple

This new single is also a one-hundred-percent innovative and groundbreaking criticism of the upper class:

The haves, have not a clue / The immenseness of suffering

Here's where this stops being satire and starts being me hating Pearl Jam even more: Close your stupid mouth, Eddie Vedder, you short, short man. Give your millions of dollars to the poor, if you're so lousy with concern for them. Hey, by the way, I saw you give your rambling, drunken speech at the Ramones' induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I liked how you shaved your head into a mohawk and wore a leather jacket just to show us how much you love the Ramones. Who cares how much you love anything? You suck. Save your lame politics for something other than trying to prop up your shitty career, you groaning, mush-mouthed neo-hippie. Instead of jumping on the Hatin' Bush Bandwagon, why not put out another forty or fifty live recordings to go along with the forty or fifty you've already released?

Aren't you overdue for the old Fade Away Into Obscurity (TM) bit? Or maybe just a good old-fashioned rock star death? C'mon, nobody cares anymore. You gave us 'Jeremy,' now you can shut the hell up.