More Stupid Bullshit From NJ Schools

In the continuing effort put forth valiantly by America's school systems to transform children into spineless state-dependents, even more schools in New Jersey are banning such playground games as dodgeball and tag on the grounds that these games have "potential for some victimization."

Despite the volumes of text that have been written about this practice, and how fantastically absurd it is, I still think it's worth mentioning that it's

FANTASTICALLY ABSURD!

I predict math is next in line to be eliminated from schools because "it's just a bunch of confusing numbers," followed by science (all those chemicals are dangerous because the children might drink them or inject them into their eyeballs). These subjects will be replaced by classes in Hugging and Smiling. These courses will be taught by friendly clowns and people wearing bright pink teddy bear costumes. These people will smell like candy and part of their job will be to line the floors of classrooms (which will be called "Happy Fun Laughter Pods") with soft, fluffy pillows so that in case any of the children fall down, they will not be hurt. These pillows will also smell like candy.

Christ.